When Insults Had Class #

• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

• "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

• "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

• "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

• "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend... if you have one."

• "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

• "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

• "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

• "He had delusions of adequacy."

• "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."

• "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."

• "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."