Seite - 100 - in JRFM - Journal Religion Film Media, Band 07/01

100 | Daria Pezzoli-Olgiati www.jrfm.eu 2021, 7/1, 95–122 always giving us good advice and wishing us [5] to do unto others as we would they should do unto us thus our parents pointed out the way in which we were to incounter with this world wishing us at all times to put our trust in god to [6] Walk in the paths of virtue In lines 6–12 the narrator describes her life in service, which she began when she was 13 years old. First, she was employed by Mr and Mrs P. as a children’s nurse. Then she went to the village of Fairlight, on the English Channel, to work in the household of Lieutenant G. After a devastating experience, which I detail below, Elizabeth abandoned this workplace. First supported by her friends, she then found a hospitable place at the home of Colonel P. Here Elizabeth’s health issues emerged, causing her to return to her parents in Ash- burnham. The narrator interprets her deteriorating health as a consequence of the “cruel usage” she experienced at Lieutenant G.’s house. She describes her experience as follows (line 9): they treated me with cruelty to horrible to mention for trying to avoid the wicked design of my master I was thrown down stairs The first sign of her ailment was memory loss. Then, she writes, “my reason was taken from me” (line 12). In lines 12–16 Elizabeth tells about the inter- vention of Dr W., her “earthly Physician” (line 40), who convinced her not to commit suicide. He said to her: Elizabeth I understand [15] you are guilty of saying you shall destroy yourself but never do that for Remember Elizabeth if you do when you come before that great God who is so good to you he will say unto you [16] Thou hast taken that life that I gave to you Depart from me ye cursed into everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels From line 17 onward the text becomes an inner dialogue between the desperate girl and God. Reflection on her miserable condition and an intense desire to put an end to her life, fears, and prayers are mixed up in an impressive textual compo- sition. Different interpretations of her deep malaise are intertwined. On the one hand there is a strong, recurring desire to end her meaningless, desperate life: I arose [24] from my seat to go into the bedroom and as I was going I thought within myself ah me I will retire into the most remotest part of the wood