Seite - 188 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

188 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits went on. She also mentions that she “saw friends die of drugs, too” and looks back on this period as “incredibly ugly” and “pretty shitty”. Babsi also experi- enced a non -lethal overdose, and “I wanted out, but never really managed that”. Very clearly, suicidal thoughts are behind her drug addiction, but there is also a good inner voice that draws her attention to the dangers, since she calls this time period “shitty”. When I met him, I was completely pulled out of it, because he doesn’t have any interest in that scene. (Pankratz 1997, 68) Through Markus, her boyfriend, she managed to break away from the drug scene. Although he was a loner and “the guy who hates people”, Babsi’s parents were very glad about her new relationship with someone outside of the drug scene. My parents were definitely glad, because they saw that he was good for me. I went into the sun for the first time in three years. . . . I was totally brown, I looked good, I think, I gained weight again and so on. (Ibid) She had been expelled from the school they both attended, where she was the black sheep and he was “the coolest kid in school”. In the other school she had just completed the school year, approximately in her third month, and “just began to work” in order to later obtain her parental leave benefits. Markus is not an easy man. “He had four girlfriends before, they all left him after one week, and he’s been together with me for two years.” Although Markus is several years older than Babsi, he is “extremely immature” due to his “unusual past”. His father has smoked grass for the last 20 years and is already totally messed up. He (Markus) was pretty extreme, he gets up at 12 noon, sits in front of the computer all night – he only has a night life – that’s how I lived too. (Ibid) For Babsi, Markus was the man she had truly loved and trusted, the only one to really take a relationship seriously. However, she seemed to have a realistic image of Markus with his problems. Babsi’s discovery of her pregnancy and reactions from the environment Between Babsi’s first and second visit to the gynecologist – within one month – Babsi became pregnant. Previously, she had never wanted a child. For a week before Babsi told her mother, she made negative comments about media reports on abortion. Only then did Babsi tell her mother, who proceeded to tell Babsi’s