Seite - 199 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 199 In his phase of preparing for the final exams, Tom also partially took on caring for Moni. In September, before he began his military service, he “did everything the whole month”. Moni is “very cooperative”. Since Moni’s third month, “she actu- ally slept through the night. Normally, that’s normal, actually (he laughs), she’s such a good baby that it doesn’t seem normal at all.” Interpretation Together, Claudia and Tom have accomplished an unbelievable feat. They were both certain that they wanted to remain together, and they managed not only to convince both Claudia’s and Tom’s parents of that, but to live in excellent coop- eration with them. At first, Claudia fought her parents’ wish that she marry Tom, but then she agreed. The first phase of pregnancy, being alone without Tom and with the pressure her parents placed on her to have the abortion, was manifested in Claudia’s ill- nesses: at first she had a stomach flu and then two pelvic inflammations which took her to the hospital. We assume that the great inner tension, uncertainty and challenge was manifested not only psychically but also physically, as described in McDougall’s book Theater of the Body (1991). All illnesses were in the vicinity of her belly/uterus. During her severe flu she often vomited and had diarrhea, so that her weight decreased to 40 kilos. Like a reversal of the child fertility fan- tasy that babies enter a mother’s stomach when she eats, Claudia experienced her pregnancy as if someone – a bad fairy, a witch, an envious mother, a vengeful woman – was threatening the baby within her, threatening to rob her of it. In fact, Claudia’s parents wanted to destroy the baby, advising her or putting pressure on her to get an abortion. In every pregnancy, childhood fertility theories become revived and represented in fantasies or dreams. With her sick abdomen, Claudia was perhaps expressing that she had pushed herself into maternity too early – as if she has laid claim to the maternal position she has not earned – and then had to eject everything or have a painful pelvic inflammation. These psychological fac- tors can lower the body’s defenses; the stress could have been so great that Clau- dia became truly sick. The inner conflict is manifested somatically. Psychological and somatic factors are always present – actively, interactively (Engel 1962). Conversely, the baby growing within Claudia undoubtedly supplied her with additional energy. She aimed to demonstrate that she could finish the seventh class at school while nurturing a baby within her body. The enormous support she received from her mother also presumably represents a kind of reconciliation. Perhaps Tom and Claudia’s decisiveness in remaining together and having the baby has impressed the parents. At any rate, Claudia’s physical problems stopped when her mother began to completely support them – as if the future grandparents now allowed the young people their baby. Tom and Claudia are concerned about how well -behaved their daughter Moni is; they think that “it’s not normal, how good she is”. We assume that even very young babies have feelings and can recognize from their parents’ vocal nuances, emphases and behavior whether they are a burden to their parents (in Claudia’s