Seite - 234 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

234 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits Discussion Chrisse reacted very strongly to interruptions and missed sessions. In the image of the hungry vampire (supplemented by her description of it as an eternally unsatis- fied, hungry baby that could not establish contact to its mother), she transferred her own problem to the vampire. He did not receive fresh blood and almost starved before he received a mixture of old and new blood. Does this express the “old” feelings of Chrisse’s mother connected to giving away her baby and Chrisse’s “fresh” feelings towards her mother? Presumably, Chrisse must have launched stronger and stronger attempts to penetrate her mother’s emotional armor (uncon- scious guilt feelings), until she perceived herself as aggressive and became con- vinced that she would kill her mother with her urgent wishes – as in the image of the vampire who sucks out its victim until the victim dies, in order to itself sur- vive. So to speak, only one of them can survive. In this difficult situation, it would be too much for Chrisse to depict her dark side as a hungry baby; it is enough to understand the hungry and desperate vampire. The black hole presumably signi- fies various things; it can attract other matter – Chrisse herself, her confusion. It could also be the black hole of the mother – a highly powerful negative energy capable of swallowing every kind of matter. In Chrisse’s dream of flying, she creates bizarre creatures who are missing a gene – the reason they can do so many things, including fly. She identifies with them and flies herself, simply taking off. At the same time, she expresses her fear of a genetic defect that she holds responsible for her breakdown. She became manic, professing that she had no problems, instead elevating herself above all else, in particular her analyst. She did not wish to be vulnerable, instead flying and fleeing. These various moods shifted quickly within her, within the session. The psychiatrist T. did not behave respectfully towards me, did not assume contact to me, unlike Dr. E. His interpretation of reincarnation – if in fact he made it – was still more confusing for Chrisse. Final session Chrisse: (she arrived punctually) On the weekend I can’t stay at my friend’s house, because her uncle is coming and I was told I shouldn’t come. A: You are disappointed because you can’t go to your friend’s and also because you can’t come to me next week since I’m away. Chrisse: (irritated) I have my own life! You don’t give me any suggestions, we only talk. I was in an exhibit about the Renaissance with my father. He didn’t know the names of the painters, but I did: Rafael, Michelangelo and Pintorello. A: You are hurt because your friend and I can’t be with you, then you close off these feelings and talk about what you’re good at. Chrisse: (touches her finger and says in a gentle voice) Today at school I hurt my finger when I was trying to sharpen my fountain pen. This is exactly the same place where I hurt myself rope -climbing in gym class.