Page - 85 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

I would there were no age between sixteen and three -and -twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in the between but getting wenches with child, wronging the ancientry, stealing, fighting . . . —Shakespeare, A Winter’s Tale, Act III This quote from Shakespeare resonates with those parents who ask why the period of adolescence is so troublesome, and why they must feel they can do nothing right. It is difficult for parents to realize that solutions to the problems of adoles- cence require time. Particularly in this phase of life, adolescents have an urgent need to be emotionally accompanied by their parents. Parents and pedagogues know that children entering puberty often exhibit quite extreme changes in character and psychic difficulties. Children who earlier were cheerful and trusting may become stubborn and withdrawn adolescents, rebelling against their parents. Instead of admiring their parents, they criticize and denigrate their lifestyle: a child previously ambitious and eager to learn may now reject school, while others are possessed by pathological ambition and desire to learn. Both behaviors – at least in their extreme form – point to a wavering or damaged self -image. Neither permissiveness nor strictness on the parents’ part can make these changes disappear. It is helpful for teachers and parents to understand which psychic dynamics lie behind these changes. Many parents up the ante where they should actually hold back, not trusting their child’s capabilities when he most needs encouragement. When the child brings home good grades, they may assume too readily that everything is in order. Concentration on academic success dis- tracts from the much more important dimension of what problems lie behind the academic ones. Adolescents usually do not know why they are now behaving dif- ferently from before. Melanie Klein (1922) points out that it is very helpful when parents understand the unconscious tendencies of development revealed through psychoanalysis. Changes in the adolescent’s body occasion changes in his psychic balance. Sta- bilizing tactics that functioned beforehand are no match for this new attack of 3 Development of feeling