Page - 9 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

The body ego 9 really come to an end only when a child has achieved complete psychical detachment from its parents. (Freud 1911, 219) We can only speculate how many memories of her parents’ loving, happy, solici- tous (or also annoyed, baleful) gazes are evoked when the adolescent girl gazes into the mirror. Another motive for adolescent mirror -gazing is the two -fold revival of Oedi- pal desires: the adolescent compares her body to her mother’s both in a spirit of rivalry and as a model for comparison and emulation (libidinous identification – the admired person to be emulated). Lari, a 13 -year -old girl, writes in her diary: Daniel said that I have the best figure of any of the girls at the ski course! I like that, but I haven’t become conceited because of what he said. . . . I went home: at home I tried on Mom’s gold evening dress, it fit me well. I’m begin- ning to get a womanly shape. And now I’m sitting here writing my diary. (Erhard 1998, 54, translation McQuade) A child’s fantasy of wearing the Queen/mother’s golden dress can only become reality with an adult body, even when she poses secretly before the mirror. The impression from Lari’s diary is that she has internalized a loving image of her mother – an admiring mother who is glad her daughter is growing up and becom- ing a woman. Lari seems very happy at her friend’s compliment that she has the best figure, accordingly viewing herself as the victor in an imaginary contest. And yet two days later, we read in her diary how unsatisfied she is with her body. These extreme mood fluctuations – similar to early childhood – are one charac- teristic of puberty we will examine more closely in Chapter 3 (“Development of Feeling”). Lari writes: Oh God, I’m so fat again (51 kg), and so ugly. My nose is getting bigger and bigger and my behind too, my eyes are getting smaller and smaller and wrin- kly and I just look ugly as a whole. (Erhard 1998, 54) During this period, bodily changes can constitute a threat. Body proportions alter drastically – to Lari, it almost seems her body is no longer her own. Although she wishes for it to stay the same, she is nevertheless glad when Daniel declares she has the best figure, of course including her posterior curves. The body stands at the center of attention – both the adolescent’s own body and other adolescents’ bodies. Girls often sit together and rate individual body parts, discussing and evaluating their legs, shins, waists, hands, noses, mouths, eyes, eyelash length, etc. Girls derive satisfaction from this communal rating; typically, one girl will profess what she dislikes in her own body and the others vehemently disagree, attempting to convince her otherwise. The exhibition and