Page - 11 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

The body ego 11 Discussion Katharina seems quite satisfied with her body’s development; although she is fur- ther along than her friends, she sees this as something positive. Her friends seem to be waiting impatiently to become “womanly”, and see themselves as children still. Katharina can speak of these matters with unusual freedom and without embarrassment, as natural developments that are basically pleasant for her. We can view an adolescent’s situation before the mirror as a triangle. In Katharina’s imagination, her mother is standing behind her, observing her approvingly and happy that her daughter is taking the step towards becoming a woman: in fact, Katharina later tells how her mother, when Katharina informed her she had men- struated for the first time, fell weeping into her arms as she welcomed her to the realm of womanhood. She and her mother enjoy buying clothes together and evaluating which clothes fit each of them; they also enjoy putting on jewelry and generally making themselves beautiful. A mother’s dismissive or indifferent reaction to her daughter’s first menstrua- tion will have a different impact on the girl. One patient, Ms. P., said: I was eleven when I had my first period. I was very excited and ran to my mother, expecting her to be happy with me. But she seemed to find nothing of importance in what I told her, turned around, came back with a sanitary napkin which she handed over to me without a word and then went away. For four years after this, I didn’t menstruate, never spoke with my mother about this. When I then did menstruate, I obtained the necessary items for myself. The fact that Ms. P. did not menstruate for four years indicates the traumatizing effect of this massive dismissal by her mother. It is a psychosomatic reaction to this dismissal, as if she interpreted her mother’s behavior to mean that the mother did not wish her to become a woman. Instead of feeling welcomed into the woman’s world, as Katharina did, Ms. P. had to find her own way. Her mother’s dismissive attitude had an even greater effect since Ms. P.’s father was an exceed- ingly insecure personality – an alcoholic who became so drunk each Friday that he would destroy the furniture or china. We will speak later of how the adolescent selects a love object; in this case, Ms. P. chose a violent alcoholic and was unable to extricate herself for many years. The interviewer asks Katharina: I: And what’s the situation with boys? K: . . . something changed. When I was ten, I could walk down the street, boys came by and I didn’t pay them any attention. Now, boys come along and I look at them – first their feet and shoes, and then upwards – the same thing with girls. I like to look at people first, their feet, shoes, whether I like them. Whether he’s my type. I: How exactly do you do this?