Page - 15 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

The body ego 15 How does the 15 -year -old Sebastian describe the changes in his body? I: When did you notice that your body was changing? S: I don’t know, I didn’t notice at all when it began. I never really was aware of it. Earlier I was very short and then I just grew and grew. I felt better then. I’m still not a giant (author’s note: Sebastian is 1 meter 75 cm), and I always wanted to be very tall. I: What did you notice about puberty then? S: My parents began to get on my nerves. There are things where they really piss me off. No idea. It’s still that way. Going out was never a problem. No idea, when we make meals, even if I don’t want to, I still have to do it. I: How did your body change? S: The way it does when you’re in puberty. You get hair where you get it when you’re in puberty. No idea. I didn’t care. I was always that way – I never got too surprised when something changed, as long as it didn’t change too fast. I: Did your penis get bigger? S: Yes, the penis does get bigger; well, that’s nothing special. Of course I noticed, no idea; I don’t compare it. I really couldn’t care less. No idea. I: What else changed? S: You get more interested in girls, you get self -involved. No idea. The way you are as a person. Sports – no idea. What kind of girl do I like? No idea. I: Did you have wet dreams? S: Yeah, sure. No idea. I: How did you notice? S: Well, after the dream, like any normal guy. It was just there. I: Was it pleasant? S: I didn’t care. I: Did you talk about it with your friends? S: Yes, but only much later. My body got bigger, more muscles. Sure, it was nice. My voice also got much lower. Dad showed me videos where I had a little squeaky voice. Now, it’s much better. When I talk very fast and loud now, my voice still goes way up and squeaks at the very end. It changed very slowly. I noticed it when I sang, no idea, I couldn’t sing the scales all the way up anymore. Discussion Although Sebastian is glad not to be the shortest in his class anymore, he only mentions his recent growth quite casually. It is remarkable how often he empha- sizes the slow pace of his bodily changes. Only in retrospect and when he com- pares his squeaky voice to his current one can he praise his new, lower one. His often -employed “no idea” – current Austrian slang – is a form of defense, but it also expresses that he truly has no idea yet the uses to which he will put his new body. He plays football in a team and practices twice a week, with games on weekends. He is very talented at football and is often praised, yet does not