Page - 41 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Psychosexual development in puberty 41 about it, which is “really funny”. Her parents have noticed how she seems to float through life in a trance, with an absent smile. Katharina also talks about this: The only thing that’s uncool is that I fight so often with my parents. The thing that annoys my father is that I eat so slowly . . . because I’m tired . . . because I’m happy. He doesn’t understand that, and I’m fed up with this. I don’t know how I can explain it to him. I do everything so slowly and smile to myself. I can’t help it if I’m in a shitty mood or happy. It shifts so quickly. I’m depressed – or happy. It changes every hour! Especially when I listen to music, I get sad, even though I’m happy. I don’t know myself – I’m in love – that’s what my life is about now. . . . I’d like best just to sleep the whole day. Katharina describes eloquently how little influence she has on her mood swings. She is simultaneously happy and sad: when she daydreams she feels good, but her parents are irritated and confused at her state of mind. Her daydreams are some- thing of a no man’s land – outside of the protected family zone, but not yet part of the foreign realm of adults (Larson et al. 1982). Erotic and sexual tensions strive for resolution, achieved by physical manipula- tion of sex organs and attendant masturbation fantasies. 2.4 Masturbation and masturbation fantasies Satisfaction of sexual tension proceeds through masturbation – genital stimulation – and is accompanied by particular fantasies. The guilt feelings often attendant upon masturbation are not only confined to religious qualms or fear of sin, but also mani- fested in masturbation fantasies, which often have aggressive, masochistic or per- verse characteristics confusing to the adolescent who finds these fantasies both alien and native to him. The pleasure of masturbation can be both intense and also alarm- ing, with fantasies often linked to situations of fear or pressure. Motifs include beating and being beaten, torture, imprisonment – or, in the masochistic version, seeing one- self as a victim. Earlier, masturbation was considered a sin and subject for confession, and supposedly had fearful consequences – acne or brain rot. Today, Facebook offers “masturbation aids”, where masturbatory practices are described and compared, but also quite unenlightened questions are discussed: can you die from masturbating? Is masturbation healthy? What do I do when my son masturbates on his pillow? In the Internet, “domination workshops” are also offered. In general, most people today believe that masturbation is a normal phenomenon, and yet parents still have trouble talking about it with their sons. (With girls, the physical traces of masturbation are not visible.) In this area, psychoanalysis has made an important contribution to lessen the taboo status from masturbation that was earlier embodied in rituals of humiliation – for instance, a mother exhibiting the sheet from a boy’s “wet dream” in order to shame him.