Page - 59 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Psychosexual development in puberty 59 She began to buy her own clothes and not wear the childish things her mother had bought for her. She came to one of our sessions wearing a funny t -shirt with an owl on it, with the eyes at the precise point of her nipples, which was impos- sible to overlook. She wanted this attention, but also complained about boys look- ing closely at her breasts. In transference, Elfi’s sexual curiosity became evident. She was very interested in finding out something about my husband and family, and commented on any bodily changes she saw in me – a new haircut, a new ring that she fantasized my husband had given me. She began to see herself as my rival – an important posi- tive sign of adolescent development. Elfi saw me as a robust maternal object who could withstand her rivalry. Against her mother’s will, but with her father’s support, she bought youth mag- azines such as Bravo, Xpress, Yam! and Hey! with her allowance from her father. In our sessions she read me various articles and commented on them. (At the start of her analysis, she could not read.) Later, she read me personal ads for pen pals. She was only interested in girls her exact age: if they were even one or two years younger or older, she would not consider them. However, she never dared to actu- ally write a letter. In school, Elfi now had two good female friends she did things with together – much to her mother’s chagrin, who had seen Elfi as her own girlfriend and now suffered from her absence. Although in our parent meetings the father often raised the question of whether Elfi’s mother should engage in some social or charity work, this solution to her loneliness did not come to pass. Adulation of pop stars Elfi developed an intense adulation for pop stars such as Justin Bieber and Madonna. In her daydreams, she saw herself as Justin Bieber’s girlfriend; she downloaded hundreds of photos of him from the internet and showed them to me during the session. In adolescence, the father becomes more important for the girl, and this love is deflected onto a remote star. Elfi’s father was able to understand and tolerate this; he managed to assert himself against her mother. I was also an analytic mother for her, who told her: “You can have a loving relationship with a man (in fantasy, with Justin Bieber) as I do with my husband, and I allow you to be in love with your father.” Elfi’s father then began to go to the museum with her. During the trip there, they could sometimes talk together. He admired her appearance and was proud of what a pretty girl she had become. Elfi’s mother found it difficult to further this development, tending to burden her daughter with her negative attitude towards all men and the world. I would like to show an example of how Elfi, at the age of 14 ½, developed hope in a satisfying relationship through a long story we wrote together. It was impor- tant to let her lead me into her fantasy world. My countertransference consisted in encouraging her to develop her fantasies without taking the lead. I was glad that she was thinking about a healthy sexuality, and I helped her to discuss her sexual