Page - 64 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

64 Psychosexual development in puberty story further. Her sexual fantasy finds a locus in the story’s water slides. Sliding or falling in water signify sexual excitement and touching, something both adoles- cents in the story are enjoying. Her analyst develops this story together with her, thus helping Elfi to describe her healthy sexuality and wishes: she examines what she and Felix can do together, and enjoys experiencing something together with a boy, a cause for hope. The analyst grants her the freedom to express and explore her unconscious wishes. She is cautious and I am too – to not over -interpret, so that she will not interrupt her train of fantasy thought. Elfi’s involvement in the story is palpable. At the end of the story, Felix and the girl go into the deep water and the girl hurts her foot, perhaps bitten by an animal – but for a few short moments, Elfi’s image of a satisfying, happy sexual relationship became manifest. Elfi’s normal, healthy idea of taking center stage sexually, relegating her par- ents to the periphery, also causes her unease. The question of “who will take care of my mother?” arises, causing her to feel guilty. Her father will not take care of her mother, since he no longer loves her. Is Elfi allowed to be happy? Apparently, Elfi finds it a relief to think I have a husband and family: I will be able to let go of her, not clinging to her as her mother does. This development of her sexual fantasy is all the more remarkable since for years, Elfi immediately put her hands over her ears every time I used “sexual” words: even the word “baby” she scorned, and she only hinted shamefully at her first menstruation. She often implied certain things, which I then put into more concrete language for her, but she still refused to discuss them. In her story, she is the one who introduced and developed the erotic level. Elfi can imagine develop- ing like her older brothers, who both have a sexual relationship. Sex could be as fun as her beloved water slides. Can she be allowed happiness when her mother leads such a limited life without sex? It is as if I am empowering her to develop her adolescent longings like a flower that is slowly opening. She is now also able to clothe her body so that it is attractive – an expression of her new physical posi- tive self -consciousness. This example of analytic containment is meant to show how important it is for children to compensate in analysis for lack of containment by their parents. But Elfi also has a critical “Greek chorus” that seeks to discourage her, keeping her small and dependent. On her holidays, when her mother does not allow her to visit her friends, she stays in her pajamas all day, either in bed or with her mother. In the following session, I would like to show what kind of feelings arise during transference and countertransference. A session in May: Elfi: is already waiting for me in front of the door. She enters, walking slowly to the couch, and is silent. Analyst: What did you bring me? (I take my chair and sit by her next to the couch.) Elfi: It’s the same thing. I don’t understand anything. (Long pause) Analyst: Was it especially difficult today?