Page - 65 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Psychosexual development in puberty 65 Elfi: (gazes sorrowfully in front of her) Analyst: Can you give me an example? Elfi: (is silent. She seems to bear an infinite burden. She begins to speak, then stops.) No. Analyst: Maybe you can give an example of something you didn’t understand? Elfi: I won’t say hardly anything, because I have nothing to say. I’m just tired. (She lies down.) Analyst: It is really terrible when you think all your thoughts are wrong. Elfi: (is silent) Analyst: You can’t talk at all, because everything is so awful. Elfi: It’s getting worse and worse. There’s no hope for me. (She sits up again.) Analyst: (I also have tears in my eyes and would like to weep with her or take her in my arms. She seems so lonely and lost, she has such a hopeless, desperate facial expression.) It is difficult to be alone with these thoughts. You must have never told anyone about them, but instead tried to act cheerful. Elfi: Yes. (is silent) Analyst: It feels very good when you share them with me. Do you think I take you seriously and understand you? Elfi: Yes. In gym class I couldn’t hold onto the rings. We were supposed to put our legs in the rings. I couldn’t do that and I was stuck there, it hurt. Analyst: It’s hard for you to hold on and feel your strength. You don’t know whether your strength is blocked or if it’s not enough. Do you have hope sometimes? Elfi: There’s no way out for me. Analyst: Then it’s especially sad that you have no session this Friday since I cancelled. Elfi: It’s always the same. I don’t feel anything. (in a very quiet voice) Analyst: You think it’s painful for me too when I see how much you are hurt and how sad you are. You think Daddy and Mommy don’t want to hear anything about your desperation. For a long time you couldn’t talk about it, since you were convinced I didn’t want to hear about it either. Elfi: Yes. (Pause) It hurts so much. (She looks deeply into my eyes.) End of session Discussion Elfi feels emotionally finished, almost dead inside. But when she recognizes – with her analyst’s help – that she is going through a difficult phase, she finds respite. She is able to bring her desperation to me in the session and experience that I really listen to her and want to know how she feels. I am someone who can tolerate her when she feels so terrible. She assumes I do not believe that she is finished and hopeless, but that she is capable of development – and this is indeed the case. She has developed into a very pretty, lively young girl who is curious