Page - 91 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Development of feeling 91 “under fire”. Bion’s remark (2005) that “the intelligence one has must be available for use ‘under fire’” applies not only to psychoanalysts but also to the parents of children in puberty. Katharina, 15 A 15 -year -old girl whose body development is already clearly visible returns to the kitchen from her bath scantily clothed, with only a towel around her hair. Her father, who was preparing dinner together with her mother, looks in the other direction. Her mother looks at her and tells her she should put something on. The daughter ignores this comment, helping to set the table with dance -like move- ments. After some time, the father does look at her appreciatively, which elicits a satisfied smile on her part. Then he says bluntly: “Katharina, put something on already!” Having achieved the effect she intended, she leaves the room to do so. In this example we can discover various aspects: the daughter’s wish to exhibit her body and see her father’s reaction and appreciation. She wishes to attract her father’s gaze, something he actually resists because of her age. Katharina’s mother seems to be comparing her own body with her daughter’s budding body, partially glad to identify with her, but also feeling sadness at her own passing youth. Then, the father bluntly defends himself from his daughter’s attractiveness and shows her how she is to comport herself in the shared rooms of the apartment: clothed, but she can see his admiration in his eyes. Betty, 14 The 14 -year -old Betty, whose mother has entered into a loving relationship with a man for the last two years, runs naked through the dining room to her bedroom after a bath. Her mother’s partner looks up from his book and an admiring smile crosses his face. “Ludwig!” says the girl, indignantly. “You’re looking!” “Yes,” he answers, “when such a pretty girl runs by, I look.” Once again we observe childish exhibitionism of a beautiful female body and the wish to be admired by the (step)father, followed by playful indignation that he actually looks at her. It is not hard to see parallels to a scantily clad three -year -old girl delightedly dancing before her parents in order to elicit their attraction. The same situation can have a completely different meaning, when the parents react differently and the basic setting is different. In the following example, simi- lar behavior led to the threat of the girl being thrown out of her home. Christine, 15 Christine came to therapy in the Tavistock Clinic because she was stealing from her mother and grandmother. Her mother’s new boyfriend had recently moved in; previously, the single mother had lived with Christine, whose father had left the family when Christine was a baby. Shortly after Paul moved in, Christine began