Page - 139 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

The search for the self – identity 139 Lari’s idealization has dissolved; she is looking for flaws in Petra and for the dif- ference between them. She now begins to describe real contacts with boys her age. These two phases can often be seen during the search for sexual identity. When homosexual fantasies are forbidden and adolescents perceive them as threatening, this can cause deviant behavior or social withdrawal in order to avoid situations where a boy could be aroused by the sight of other boys during undress- ing or sports. The erotic attraction need not always be conscious; it can also be dif- fused into the background. At Abercrombie & Fitch in Paris, the male salespeople, selected for their sexy appearance, are topless, with their photos on the shopping bags like models. At the entrance, the shopper is greeted by hosts as at a party; there is loud music and the salesmen dance rhythmically to create a mood. The store has dark wallpaper and perfume is sprayed into the air. The shop is decorated with ancient Roman and Greek sculptures; surfaces are constantly being cleaned so that no dust will be visible on the furniture. Only photogenic male models are hired to be entertainers; they represent the idol that the buyer is meant to idol- ize. They have to speak perfect English in order to serve international customers. When the customer enters the five -story building, s/he is photographed with one of the models. The trick is that there is no publicity for the store, in fact not even the name is easily seen on the exterior; one has to “be in the know” in order to enter, so to speak. If a passerby or tourist wants to know where the store is, s/ he must ask someone carrying the bag from it. The wish to belong to a special group – although not necessarily homosexual – is thus subtly stimulated. Moses Laufer supplies an example of an adolescent who breaks off going to school due to his fear of his homoerotic desires: A young man of 19 came to discuss a worry, which he described as follows: he felt attracted to other boys, and this was now affecting his work . . . at the age of 15, he had begun to feel attracted to other boys. Although he was terrified of his homosexual feelings, he nevertheless could not stop himself from thinking about some of the boys. He spent all his free time in the school library, because he felt that he could be near boys more safely and incon- spicuously there. There came a point when he began to be very frightened of his own feelings, fearing that he might actually try to touch some of the boys. He began to stay away from school. This finally resulted in his decision to leave school. He then took a job as a clerk, and he was in this job when he came to the Centre for help. (Laufer 1995b, 8) Laufer describes how the adolescent boy’s worries and fear of his homosexual feelings towards other students led to his leaving school. With this decision, he jeopardized his education, profession and thus his entire path in life. It is impor- tant to offer the adolescent professional help in time or to be sensitive to the dimensions of this problem. When a student with good grades (as in this exam- ple) begins to withdraw and stay away from school, this must be understood as a cry for help. Such behavior is often misunderstood to be a lack of interest,