Page - 149 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 149 strengthen the child’s self -respect; however, if parents overlook signs of a trou- bling development, they are withholding significant help from their child. A fear- ful mother seeking to bind her youngest son to her (although he is 15 ½) might impede his plan to visit a friend in Germany by continually wondering out loud whether the parents will take good care of him; when he then gives up his plan and instead sits in front of the computer every day of his vacation, she might regret her behavior. In families where the parents find it difficult to control their own impulses – or vacillate between uncontrolled behavior and stricter limits – children usually also have difficulties with self -control. Stiffly authoritarian par- ents often observe things in a polarizing fashion as either good or bad; although they believe they are setting clear limits, they fail to notice that they are only encouraging their children into extreme behavior. Now, we will investigate central problem areas in adolescence: violence and criminality, teenage pregnancy, psychic breakdown and suicidal thoughts. 6.1 Violent adolescents: violence as fascination and denial The phenomenon of increasing violence after the onset of adolescence is wide- spread after traumatic experiences in early childhood. Psychoanalysis attempts to understand the inner pattern of the personality leading to the outbreak of (typi- cally unpremeditated, spontaneous) violence. What kind of dynamic rules the inner world of the (usually male) adolescents that pushes them to such aggressive behavior directed against other persons or objects? Psychoanalysis focuses on understanding the secret, usually unconscious motives that such violent acts block or deny. An adolescent who entered therapy due to his aggressive behavior towards other students characterized himself in the first therapy sessions as a helpless little bunny who needed protection.1 It was not surprising to hear that Malcolm’s father physically abused him already when he was a baby on numerous occasions, then serving prison time for serious injury. Malcolm also often witnessed his father abusing his mother; indeed, he would start crying when his father approached. Already in our first sessions, Malcolm’s intergenerational deprivation and trauma became evident. Malcolm’s mother was abandoned early on by her own mother, growing up with her father and her unloved stepmother. She then chose a violent husband who was already in jail for serious injury before Malcolm was born. The father was regularly abused by his parents, whose ancestors had been slaves. In spite of all this, the mother took her baby to the father’s home in the Caribbean. When she picked up the crying Malcolm to calm him, the father said she was spoiling him. Only when Malcolm turned two years old did his mother return with him to Austria – and only after he exhibited massive psychosomatic problems, including difficulties swallowing and waking up at night in a panic. In my three -year work with Malcolm (at first twice a week, and then after one year three times a week), the deep depression and desperation behind his violent behavior quickly became evident. In a parent conference after four months, his