Page - 166 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

166 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits who can swiftly escape to security when threatened. In the 21st session, depic- tions of four different types of vehicles were hung up in the four corners of the room: a Porsche, an SUV, a Volkswagen and a bicycle. R. goes over to the station wagon. His written self -description is: “I am like an SUV . . . I am small but flexible. With the large tires, I get over lots of obsta- cles and come through rough terrain. I have lots of strength and endurance.” (Staudner -Moser 1997, 105) This self -description gives a good picture of his attitude during the sessions, where he attempted to find new solutions and possibilities and reflect on himself. The others now are asked to guess who wrote each self -description: R. is immediately recognized due to two salient qualities. He used the word “romantic”; he also longs for a loving relationship. R. only learned during the course of the sessions to see himself as tender and lovable. He characterizes himself as a romantic type who needs lots of love but would also be able to give it. In the exercises, love and relationships are often mentioned. Several hours previously, there was one exercise where the boys were asked to put their footprints on a piece of poster paper and then write what they “stehen auf” (in German, what they like). R. wrote “love”. R.’s negative side is the “tricking” of others. This quality has led to his long periods in prison, but also helped him towards a quite high standard of living once there. R. considers another of his bad characteristics to be his frank and tactless way of telling others what he thinks of them – followed often by a butt to the head, which can also lead to physical fights. (Staudner -Moser 1997, 105) It constitutes enormous progress that R. dares to confess his longing for love and speak openly in the group. The entire group seems to have undergone a remarkable evolution, since nobody laughs at R.’s remark. A further illustration of his emotional state is supplied by the second assign- ment in this 21st session, where participants are instructed to draw and describe a symbol in which they recognize themselves. R. drew a picture of a broken heart (Figure 6.5). On the smiling side, the heart is red, with the opposite, melancholy side black. The heart is not really broken: neither side stands alone or must fend for itself – they are connected with a thick red line. Love is intimately bound to pain and unfulfilled longing. Everything has two sides . . . The drawing reminds a Turkish adolescent of a Turkish saying: “Seugin in basi yangindir, sansu ise ölümdür – at the beginning of love there is a crack- ling fire, at the end of love is death.”