Page - 177 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 177 Although her husband’s parents lived in Vienna, they had no contact to Petima’s parents, since her father was strictly against her marriage to a non -Chechenian. They made contact to the NSZ, omitting to mention that Petima was now preg- nant. After Muhammad’s “martyrdom” – his death – Petima’s messages became less euphoric. She married another Chechenian but maintained only infrequent contact to her mother. She has shown no signs of wishing to return to Austria and continuing her studies. Discussion The sociological observation of this middle -class family that fled Chechenia for Austria shows what a difficult proposal it was for their daughter to integrate into Austrian society when her father prevented her from taking part in the social activities with her peer group. At first, she concealed her resistance against her anti -sexual education. Petima seemed to adapt, got good grades and apparently aspired towards social upward mobility through her education. There is no sign in the description that Petima could confide in her parents or at least in her mother. Secretly, she wishes to escape the strictures and rigid norms set by her family. Her first great love, overshadowed by the holy war, exercised such an attraction on her that she left everything behind her to join Muhammad in Syria. This case study shows how important preventive work in schools would be for countering recruitment efforts that succeed by employing false information. Behind a student’s friendly, successful façade, a surprising amount of aggression and destructive wishes can lurk, waiting to be discharged in the “permitted” field of the IS and directed against all “infidels”. Summing up, we must emphasize how important it is with violent adolescents to recognize the psychic dynamic behind this obviously powerful violence: help- lessness, powerlessness and rage, as well as the inability to conceive or influence a situation through thought, results in the situation being “acted” through behav- ior, i.e., acted out. For people working with violent and neglected adolescents, it is important to understand this dynamic – otherwise, the adult may feel humili- ated or rejected. “Adults tend to misinterpret the enmity, silence, withdrawal and other reactions on abused children and adolescents as an answer to the current situation instead of seeing them as conditioned reactions to memories from the past,” writes Annette Streeck -Fischer, editor of the important book Adolescence – Connection – Destructivity (2004, 27). My therapy patient Malcolm, who oscil- lated between great desire for closeness and massive provocation in his three -hour analysis, wished on the unconscious level to have me experience his helplessness and rage as a child. When I interpreted to him that he wanted to see if I would lose my patience and become so angry that I would give up, he answered: “You will never give up!” He was often astonished that I could recognize his vulner- ability behind his pseudo -indifference. He, who had always been mocked, drew the word “HANDICAPPED” on the wall and mocked me, trying to spray me with