Page - 181 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 181 Sexuality in Sarah’s family For Sarah’s family, sex education was taboo: in her childhood, sexuality remained unmentioned, as if it did not even exist: I got my sex education from BRAVO – I really mean that – my parents never told me one thing, they kept it a complete secret from me . . . in biology it was that way too, but especially the feelings connected with sex. . . . I learned about them from BRAVO, unfortunately. (Pankratz 1997, 57) When Sarah found a condom in her parents’ suitcase, they were thoroughly embarrassed, but they did not discuss the matter. Only when her grandmother “caught” Sarah and a boy in bed did her mother bring Sarah to the gynecologist, remaining by her side during the examination and subsequent discussion with the gynecologist – even though Sarah was most discomfited by this. Sarah’s first menstruation found her unprepared: “Yes, that was terrible for me – since of course I told my mother, because I thought I had something awful. My mother only said that it’s menstruation and she explained the hygienic things to me, but I was terribly embarrassed.” Sarah was also terribly embarrassed to get her sanitary napkins out of the cup- board in front of her father. It particularly shocked her to find out that her mother had told all of their relatives that Sarah was menstruating now – “That was a catastrophe for me”. Contraception and child fantasies At her first visit to the gynecologist, she learned about contraception and got a prescription for the Pill. Then I took the pill, of course, just as you’re supposed to, but I didn’t have a good reaction at all since I was very, very prone to depression and psychically unstable back then. And quite soon, I stopped taking it . . . and I must say that I rather played with the idea that I might become pregnant. That’s why when I did I didn’t find it so bad – on the contrary. (Pankratz 1997, 59ff ) After this, Sarah and her boyfriend did not use any form of birth control. Since she continued to menstruate, she wondered if something might be the matter with her. She was terribly in love, and then “it worked after all”. She is very proud to report that she is the only one in her class to have a baby. Knowledge of pregnancy and birth Sarah received practically no sex education or information from her mother. The short conversation she had with the gynecologist in her mother’s presence