Page - 184 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

184 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits Her family and boyfriend were supportive, and her grandfather could provide the young couple with an apartment. They were also given organizational and finan- cial support from both parents; their decision to move in together and have the baby was respected by both sets of grandparents. Instead of going on the graduation trip with others in their class, Sarah took a trip alone with her boyfriend, where they could take time for each other, starting to “lead our own life”; Sarah regretted that she broke off relationships with the other students so “abruptly”. They came to visit me, and a whole lot of people visited me in the hospital, but that came to a pretty fast end. (Pankratz 1997, 63) At the beginning of her pregnancy, Sarah still fit in with the other students – they could relate to one another. Later, when her baby had been born, it stood between her and them. She had grown into the experience with the baby, and they felt excluded, then absenting themselves. Sarah initially preferred to be alone with the child and her boyfriend. Thus, the pregnancy put an abrupt end to her adolescence, and she developed a mature pair relationship, one that proved quite robust despite the narrow time frame (approximately a year). The child became the “absolute midpoint”, and she would not have been capable of declaring, “I’m going my own way, I’m going to work and putting you in a crawlspace.” Sarah’s life situ- ation was such that she was never bored. However, she professed understanding for single mothers who felt like the “roof caved in on them” when they spent the whole day alone at home with their child. Discussion Sarah’s case shows the entanglement between destructive and constructive, lov- ing, conciliatory aspects of a teenage pregnancy. At first, Sarah lags far back in her academics – with five failing grades in one semester so that she is consider- ing dropping out of school. Presumably, this is due to an unconscious conflict or her provoking of her mother; but instead, the mother seemed to be indifferent. She is a salesperson and thus has no academic degree. One might ask whether there are unconscious envious feelings towards Sarah, who could outdo her in her education. Sarah’s becoming pregnant was made more probable through the taboo status of sexuality and the lack of sensitive sex education from the parents. Only after Sarah was discovered by her grandmother having sex does the mother accom- pany her to the gynecologist, but she does not allow Sarah a private talk with the gynecologist, instead remaining against Sarah’s will, which indicates a fraught mother -daughter relationship. The mother then does not seek out further discus- sion with Sarah, tolerating her faulty birth control, so to speak. Sarah may have