Page - 197 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 197 Claudia’s experience of pregnancy and birth Although Claudia suffered from serious illnesses during her pregnancy – a severe stomach flu which caused her to lose quite a bit of weight, and two inflammations of the pelvis, whereupon she had to go to the hospital – she described her preg- nancy as “just normal, I mean, whatever can be normal”. Due to intense back pain, she received “physiotherapy in the form of radiation and so on”, and also took part in pregnancy gymnastics. Claudia was under quite some pressure, since she had to accomplish all of this in addition to school. Emotionally, she felt less well since Tom was absent for two weeks and her parents were advising her to get an abortion. Her friends from school were also on vacation, and she felt very alone. Only when her parents accepted her wish to have the child and also supported her and Tom did she feel better. At school, everything went “super”, as Claudia remarked. She was able to study. Claudia explained that she was “fully aware that my life was going to change” when she had a child. I could imagine how it would be . . . I could put myself in that role. I thought: you can’t go out anymore at night. In principle, I didn’t mind, because I had already had that. . . . I took that into account . . . super, you have a child and you’ll be staying at home. (Ibid, 100) With Claudia, the child took “first place”, with everything else relegated to the background. She seemed to have a realistic attitude. Tom suffered more than she did from the abrupt termination of his youth through her pregnancy. He said: She seemed to be able to get used to the idea better than I. I knew what was facing me, but in some form it just broke over me. I know it was very abrupt, before, I was just still at home with my parents . . . then I was together with Claudia, just stayed at home and played computer games. (Ibid, 101) Before, Tom had gone out a lot with his friends, “playing soccer or attending soccer matches, I know . . . somewhere, going out for a drink, playing billiards or some- thing.” He regretted that now this was hardly possible. Recently, the two of them had started going out with friends again; they had the babysitter problem under control using friends. But Claudia always had “guilt feelings when I go out, since I don’t see the baby much during the week anyway” and would rather stay at home with her, “but I can’t always do that”. She also attempts to take Tom’s wish to go out into consideration. Both regret that they currently lack time to spend together. Tom recalls better times: Sometimes we were always together. We went to school together and we spent the holidays together in the garden, two months. That was super. But