Page - 198 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

198 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits now it’s stupid, now we seldom see each other. And when we do, then Clau- dia’s at home studying. (Ibid, 101ff ) At the time of the interview, Tom is doing his military service and hence usually away during the week. The birth was more strenuous than expected. But when Moni had been born, both Claudia and Tom were very happy. Claudia: “The feeling was super, having a baby lie on your stomach.” Tom is also elated: “The little hands and all that. I was always so happy when the baby came back, since I hadn’t really seen her yet.” Claudia enthusiastically told of her first encounter with her baby, almost mel- ancholic when she remembered “how she was still so little, she was just so sweet. (She laughs.) She’s still sweet, but – she’s already so big, she can already sit and do lots of things.” Two weeks after the birth, Claudia had already written a paper for school; after a month, she attended classes again. She was, in fact, able to finish the seventh class and at the time of the interview was studying for her final exams. Support and help Tom and Claudia received major support from Claudia’s parents, who gave them the “basis for everything we have now”. They bought them an apartment, also paying maintenance and all the other costs. They also helped them take care of baby Moni so that Claudia could go to school. Tom spoke enthusiastically of Claudia’s mother, who did everything. She cleaned the whole apartment, cooked and really did eve- rything . . . took care of Moni when we had to study . . . they let us stay there until Claudia had finished the seventh class and I had finished my final exams – as if it were just along with the rest. (Ibid, 104) The fact that Tom ironically characterizes preparing for his final exams – nor- mally the overarching goal of academic high school and a major challenge – as “just along with the rest” shows the degree of burden he had assumed. His main task was taking care of the little family. Claudia also calls going to school her “free pleasure time”, since her child took first priority. Claudia managed this thanks to her organizational talent, her ambition and the support of Tom, her mother and the school. She breast -fed Moni exclusively and managed to finish the seventh class. I was always pumping out my milk in school, then I would put it in the school icebox, took the milk home, freezing it till the next day so that my mother could feed Moni with it the day after while I was at school. (Ibid, 108)