Page - 208 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

208 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits she felt herself to be even needier than him. For this reason, I decided to dedicate this hour to her. As she told her story, she wept, using exactly four handkerchiefs (Mark had four hours a week of analysis) in expressing her pain. After this ses- sion, she thanked me, taking up my advice to go into therapy herself, and decided that Mark should continue analysis. My countertransferential reactions were various – his passivity was meant to draw me close to him, make me more subject to his control; sometimes I had the impression that he did not reach me, and then I felt bombarded by feelings of panic, desperation and contempt. Mark’s father attended the parent conferences only twice; he was a successful computer specialist and did not like to talk. Either he let his wife speak or he fin- ished her sentences. They spoke in an eccentric way, alternating as in an operatic duet, both looking at me and putting me under pressure to grant both of them attention. Mark shared a room with two younger sisters and wanted a room of his own in order to have his private sphere; he attempted to draw a line of demarcation through the room, but his sisters ignored it. Mark’s first year in analysis Only in Mark’s first year in analysis did it become apparent how seriously dis- turbed he was. He conveyed how desperately he needed help. His appearance could alter surprisingly when he felt possessed and threatened by figures from his inner world. He wanted to have control. He often seemed to be caught up in daydreams where he was superior to everyone else. When he had problems with walking and moved like a robot, he looked fearfully in the left corner of the therapy room, apparently wishing to be pulled in that direction. Usually, he entered the therapy room so quickly that I had difficulty following him. When he was depressed, he walked very slowly. I often thought he was having hallucina- tions. Analysis seemed to alter his routine, which was both pleasant and disturbing to him. From the first session, he found it difficult to leave at the end, as if he had to tear himself away. When I said the session was over, he often tried unsuccess- fully to get up, as if he were glued to his chair. Only after I stood up was he also able to do so. His preferred mode of controlling me was to not come to the session, or to arrive 20, 30, 45 minutes too late – while simultaneously conveying to me how crucial the sessions were for him. After a session he had missed, his appearance was dra- matically altered: he seemed absent and full of repressed aggression. Sometimes he moved lethargically, like a lifeless machine. He was always dressed casually but well, and well -groomed – normally an important measure of psychic health. Here is an excerpt from one session: During the last week before Christmas, he suddenly said in an empty voice: “Today I have to leave at 2:50!” When I asked why, he answered with silence. I was confused and surprised, since he almost never spoke. Before I could comprehend