Page - 211 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits 211 In spite of this, there were changes in his outer world, and his parents sup- ported the analysis. And yet he remained mute at our sessions – most information I obtained from his mother, whom I met twice every semester. When he once did not show up for three sessions, I confronted him with the possibility of ending the analysis. He groaned at the word “end”. I described my function as custodian of the tiny portion in him that wanted to come to analysis and believed that life could also be friendly. As a reaction, I obtained a small, friendly smile. When I said how tiny this “portion” was, his smile grew, and I continued talking of this tiny, optimistic portion in him that was being cruelly shoved about, mocked and intimi- dated. But I also said that I did not know whether I could continue the analysis, and that this might be our last session if he continued his absences. The first sentence his mother said to me in conversation the next day was: “I have a new child! Since yesterday, I have a new child! I am totally surprised!” Mark was now talking to her. He even offered to go buy milk. Usually he said “Mhm” when he was asked to do this, went back to his room and wouldn’t go out. After this conversation, it was clear that Mark would come another year to analy- sis, since he had improved his performance at school substantially. Did he wish to show that analysis was helping him? For his parents, at least, it was an important argument for his continuing. The following two years After the first six -week summer pause, Mark neither showed up for therapy nor answered my letters. Then, he called me up, informing me that he did not wish to come anymore. When his mother called me up in an alarmed state, I said that we must accept his decision; I was sad, but also relieved. After four weeks, his mother called me up again, asking me if I would take Mark back. His perfor- mance at school had dramatically worsened, he hadn’t done any homework at all and he did not participate in activities. I answered that I could take him back, but expected him to call me up to make an appointment. Mark called me reluctantly the same day, saying “I was supposed to call you.” In scheduling his sessions, he would only accept the same times he had had before, taking refuge in a fib: he said he had afternoon school on Monday and Tuesday in order to get “his” Saturday session back. In the following two years it became clear that he was even more ill than I had thought at the beginning; he had hallucinations, sometimes launched attacks on his relationship to me and others, and withdrew to an arrogant attitude where he could live out his fantasies of omnipotence. The first session he came back to me, he was completely withdrawn; the atmosphere was extremely chilly and tense. During the session, he relaxed somewhat, and his fearful facial expression became more gentle. He looked at me as if I were his life preserver. He seemed as if he could have a psychotic breakdown. I tried to understand how ill he was, in order to not be angry with him. Twice, he rang the buzzer without being able to come up. Did he enter the room so fearfully because the day before he had projected