Page - 222 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

222 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits Chrisse then began to tell of her first session of family therapy, where her mother’s (previously untold) story had emerged: the mother’s brother had committed sui- cide at the age of 15, and her mother’s father was an alcoholic. As a young teen- ager, the mother had had a relationship and a baby she gave up for adoption and never saw again. Although this saddened her, according to Chrisse her mother had no feeling for the baby she gave away. Chrisse remarked that she could never go to school again; when the doctor had posed this as a possibility, “I fell down an inner abyss”. Death exerted an enormous attraction on her, just as in certain Japanese car- toons. In order to fantasize, she used a pendulum, in order to better enter her fantasy. She was afraid that people might now steal her ability to dream. In con- clusion, we read her diagnosis together, and she inquired as to the meaning of all the terms she did not understand. In the “tree test”, she drew a tree without roots. She added that she had not only seen a sunset and grey clouds (which she had also drawn), but “internally” a big, dangerous storm that could break out at any time. Towards the end of the session, she said she would like to come again, remark- ing: “Now, the picture of the tree is changing: the tree is burning, but the fire has not yet spread to the thicker trunks”. Analyst: You are saying to me that you need help quickly, because your tree has already caught fire. I am not here next week, but I can see you Thursday and Friday the following week. Chrisse: Now lightning has struck the tree. A: Now you are warning me that it is dangerous to work with you when your tree, your thoughts, are already burning. Chrisse: I would like to come if nothing comes up – not like going to school. Since the session was over, Chrisse’s mother rang the bell and came to pick her up. When the mother entered, I began to speak, then thought better of it and asked Chrisse to inform her mother about our arrangement. Chrisse moved very close to her mother and told her quietly of the two appointments we had made. I assigned her a session at 11:00 am Thursday and 10:00 am Friday. Chrisse saw that her mother had written down 11:00 for Friday, and corrected her. Now, the mother said she was going to bring Chrisse to work. When she asked me how she should behave with Chrisse, I referred her to the doctor at the hospital. Discussion Chrisse seemed to wish that I would accompany her into her private computer world and take interest in her fantasy figures. This was her psychic retreat (Steiner 1987), affording her a modicum of security, but she also feared it would be taken from her. I showed her that I tolerated this retreat. The Japanese “Mangas” are often chosen by schizophrenics to express their fragmented world.