Page - 228 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

228 Lost by the wayside – overstepping limits A: You are telling me of your wish to know how the vampire story began, but you are talking about your own story. You want to find out where the prob- lems began in your life. Now at the moment you are going away from your description of how you’re doing at school, you’re looking for escape in your stories. Chrisse: At school, I am half present and half absent. When it becomes too much, I concentrate on one point where the stories come out. Later I wake up and don’t know what the teacher was talking about. A: When you tell me about the girl that is half human and half spirit, you are also talking about yourself and your fear of what you would find out about your dark side. Chrisse: I want to tell you two more things. I am fast. My teacher said something that sounds funny: I am done right away. That has two meanings. A: Yes, that you’re “done” in the sense that you can’t stand it anymore and maybe also that you think that I am “done” when you burden me with all these sto- ries. And you say that the time is so short and you would like to tell me much more. Discussion When she entered the therapy room, Chrisse asked whether she should close the door. It is a good sign that she did not leave it open, but instead wanted to con- struct a border and close the room. She varied her accounts of the great lengths she went to in order to master reality, getting up exceedingly early in order to stay at the same school. When she felt overly challenged, she went into her fantasy world. In her dreams, her real problems were rendered visible. Although Chrisse knew that her dreams were dreams, she felt threatened by them. She sensed that flying expressed her wish for omnipotence and embod- ied the compulsive images she feared. She spoke of her wish to become healthy once again. When she was afraid – for instance, afraid of the session ending – she changes the subject as in a dream, but also in the session. She partly idealized her madness, yet could still return to therapy. All her insane figures were on her side – the vampire, the werewolf. She had one friend who was normal and another who found Chrisse’s dark side attractive. In transference, she also tried to draw me into her crazy world: I was meant to see the werewolf as a benevolent mythological figure and disregard his craziness, violence and the injuring of borders. She was absolutely convinced that nobody could like her. The story of the Manga girl that was born too early showed her deep conviction that she had been deprived and that she had been not accepted emotionally. But she had hopes (as in her dream) of finding a fourth family where she could stay – this must be an indication of her hope to find a place here in therapy where she (as she said) feels accepted. When I took this into transference and said: “You think that nobody likes you, not even I!”, she said: “I haven’t thought about that yet.” She indicated that she needed more time in therapy by saying at the end of the session that she had still more