Page - 262 - in Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Puberty and Adolescence - The Inner Worlds of Teenagers and their Parents

262 Epilogue one’s entire life. Golding employs the symbolism of a ship journey and coming- of -age rituals in his book. As with emigration, which affords the enriching possibility of becoming a citi- zen of two cultures, the transition from childhood into the adult world can also be enriching when the person manages to be an adult and also remain a child. Retain- ing the child’s openness, playfulness, emotional intensity and joy in experimenta- tion and understanding one’s “inner child” can be one result of a psychoanalytic investigation and working through of one’s own life story. An adult must accept the difference between his desired and actual place in society, which minimizes a child’s fantasies of omnipotence, so that a playful investigation of outer and inner reality enables innovation and creativity. In the second part of my book, I described the problems that arise when the border to antisocial and destructive behavior is crossed. Adolescents often do not know where the borders to extreme and abusive behavior lie. I described the problem areas of violence, teenage pregnancy, and thoughts of and attempts at suicide and discussed possible causes and solutions using case studies. These case studies should afford insight into the occasionally amorphous character of these problems, sometimes quickly addressed by professionals, sometimes only with progress over several years. However, if the chance is not exploited, addressing such problems can take much longer later (or too late), when an adolescent com- mits drastic acts or even takes her own life. Numerous pessimistic reports about outsiders and violence can be relativized when we look closely at the results of psychotherapeutic work with these adolescents. We then see that behind an appar- ent coldness and readiness to violence is hidden a great vulnerability and longing, manifested either in violence and self -harm or in the acceptance of emotional help. Therapists must nevertheless be prepared first to be employed as transfer- ential objects and second to be confronted with all the attendant disappointments, reproaches and rage over experienced humiliations and deprivations – all of which they must tolerate and contain. The therapist’s interpretation of psychotic hallucinations and images can also be a relief for the patient; it helps to recognize the childlike mode of perception an adolescent resorts to in the face of threatening inner forces. A question often posed is why children from the same family develop so dif- ferently: why does one child become alcoholic, violent or schizophrenic, while his siblings have a good development? There are three dimensions of this diver- gent development: 1) the divergent temperaments of various babies, 2) the diver- gent positions of siblings and 3) family circumstances, as well as the factor of “resilience”. Psychoanalysts presume that babies have various temperaments from birth on: approximately one -quarter of babies are particularly robust, patient and resilient, approximately one -half have an average temperament and one -quarter are delicate, easily irritated, difficult to calm and impatient. Parents require a special approach to create appropriate conditions for their sensitive baby – for instance, only pre- senting it with one stimulus when it is easily distracted. It might be necessary to