. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
. A backward poet writes inverse.
. In democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your count that votes.
. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
. You feel stuck with your debt, if you can't budge it.
. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
. He often broke into song, because he couldn't find the key.
. Every calendar's days are numbered.
. A lot of money is tainted. Taint yours and taint mine.
. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
. He had a photographic memory which was just never developed.
. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
. When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.